Big Girls Don't Cry

There have been some long days at the church charity. Our hours are 10 am to 2 pm and somehow it is a stretch for me to be there by 10, lol.  We can make it to the rec by 8:30 but struggling into an office is a whole different ball game. 

For the past several weeks mornings have been very slow.  There might be a call on the answering machine, I usually sit alone for at least two hours. 

Around 1:30 I start to get panicked calls. Three weeks ago it was someone whose water was just shut off. Our city water department has printed on our bills that the bill is overdue and subject to shut off when the new bill is received.  I am sure it is mentioned somewhere on your online bill.  This person's bill was 3-4 months overdue. They had to know they weren't paying it.  So big fat sigh. I did say, in my nasty voice, that you need to reach out for help before bills are shut off so that you do not incur reconnect fees.  

But there are children in the home. And I have a real problem with children who cannot flush a toilet or brush their teeth or wash their face before school.  So I took the application over the phone (she claimed to be positive for influenza and I wasn't going to argue) called the city to get the actual amount to be paid, I texted board members to get permission to pledge the amount, I called the city back to pledge the money and they were very helpful and actually turned it back on that afternoon. And all this meant I worked about 45 minutes over. 

I was to the point I was thinking we should change our hours but realized people would still wait until the last moment.

About a week and a half ago I had a voicemail from a woman enquiring about rental assistance. I called back and left a message with our hours.  She did not return the call until  about 1:30 pm. She explained she was at work and that she had fled a domestic violence situation with her children. I stopped her and told her I would wait until she could get to the office. She called me on the way with an update and I assured her I would wait for her. 

She has two children, a daughter for whom she gets $80 a month in support and a two year old daughter whose father she left due to violence. To try to stop her from leaving, he took the car seat to work with him every day. Somehow she found transportation and traveled to our state, where her father lives, at the end of January.  Unfortunately dad is very ill and in the hospital. She has been couch surfing with co-workers.  

It isn't my first rodeo. She needed a security deposit and first months rent so I sent her to a second church. And researched her social media. She arrived in January, has been working at a factory with her friend since she arrived. She did post on facebook asking for clothes for the girls and then asking for a toddler bed and mattress. She and the older daughter sleep on the couch.  

She is rough.  Old tattoo, not well-done. Looks much older than her actual age. But she is really really trying.  When they were leaving for the other church, the older daughter who is about 10 asked a question and I understood what she was asking. When mom told her they were going to ask a church for the money to get a home, she thought I would give them the money immediately and she would have home by bedtime.  It broke my heart. 

Of course I cried all the way home.  The money needed is more than we would normally do. My thought was the other church would be willing to pay half of the deposit if we paid the other half but I knew the landlord would not allow her to move in without all of it and would probably not hold the apartment.  

She had called the office Monday morning before the board meeting and talked to a fellow member. The other church felt as strongly as I did and gave a larger amount. And an out of town church that someone she works with belongs to gave enough to add to it and cover the deposit. And my board was willing to cover the first month's rent, about double what we would normally do for a client. 

I was still struggling all week.  My heart goes out to these little girls.  I got up this morning and went shopping.  At my first stop I picked up every kitchen utensil I could find including a set of silverware.  I went on to the next store and picked up plastic tableware for the girls, a crock pot, a set of pots and pans and some towel sets.  I raided my gift stash and found five dish towels and a fist full of potholders.  I had an extra canvas hamper where I stuffed them along with a pink and purple quilt and shams from my closet. I had just weeded our children's games and stuffed those in too.  I picked up baking pans somewhere - metal ones.  I filled my trunk. 

Then I texted her to see where we could meet. Because I am not totally crazy.  I went home and told my husband what I had done and he said, let me get my keys. (And this is another reason I love him, no questions asked).  We drove to her town and met her and the girls in a grocery store parking lot.  

She was very grateful. She still need beds especially and furniture. I talked to my neighbor and she has a glider rocker.  My eye surgery is coming up and she is moving in on the 1st so I will text her on Friday and see where she stands. 

I'm still teary eyed.  I want my little friend to have a home and a bed.  

I try not to get involved. But I feel so blessed and lucky. I do not want.  I feel like I have so much.  And I just want them to work this all out.  

See. I am not always the cranky mean girl that lectures our clients.  Just sometimes. 

Memory Monday

 Planning ahead. 

This is a photo from our 40th Wedding Anniversary, taken in the backyard of our younger son's home by his next door neighbor. 

She is now our family's official photographer. She is very popular, especially with her newborn and child portraits. 

ANYWAY she occasionally does what she calls mini sessions for a reduced price and I scored one of the slots for spring photos at an arboretum.  I am planning a 50th Anniversary photo shoot.  We were married in the fall but we had fall photos last time and I can't wait for beautiful floral backgrounds to help us look better, lol.

I was scrolling and found a great sale at Macy's - tuxedos for $99.  Does my husband need a tux? Of course not.  Does he want a tux? Of course not. Does it even resemble the white tux he wore for our wedding? Nope - just a normal black tux.  

My youngest granddaughter and my wedding dress when I lent it to a display of antique wedding dresses.  I was the end of the line - 1970's.

I ordered two formal dresses for me since I would have to get to 99 pounds to wear my wedding dress.  Yes, one is white and that is probably the one I will wear because it has some stretch.  

My husband's family at our wedding.  I have also scheduled family pictures in late summer but organizing my five children, four significant others at this point, ten grandchildren, a step granddaughter with a significant other and my husband is challenging.  We ended up with a Sunday morning at sunrise and very casual clothes.  And now one might leave for basic training or college or something and others are hedging.  I have decided we are not going to photoshop and I am waiting until closer to the date and ordering those large heads on sticks for people who cannot attend.  

And this is why I would like to get one nice photo of my husband and me. 

No Kings

Since the last time I attended a protest (MLK weekend) when I ended up in the hospital, Mr Merry decided to accompany me on Saturday. 

Why does he always look handsome and I look homeless?  My head is not made for stocking caps. You would think I would learn.

We actually went down the road 12 miles to the town where my husband graduated high school. They are very red and there were lots of nasty comments on facebook leading up to Saturday. We wanted to be supportive. 

Our friends Rodney (a Viet Nam vet) and Linda. Mr Merry and Rodney both retired from the railroad. And several other railroad retirees joined the line so it was old home week for them! 

This is a great photo of Rodney's flag with our feet underneath and my speaker in the back. We stand at the end because I play 1960's protest songs and don't want to blast people. My speaker plays at the legal level for speakers.  

This is the truck that parked across the street from us and put an air horn on automatic out their window, aimed at us.  This is illegal. We had notified the police department and gotten our permit. The officer was parked around the corner covertly watching us behave. Note, always check your surroundings! 

Someone had taken a photo of us earlier in the afternoon. We had an unofficial headcount of 47 people with 3 counter protesters wearing ironic shirts that said Freedom Protector.  We had lots of support from passing motorists and passersby and the counter protestors were disappointed that they were perceived as part of our group.  Our group was the smallest turnout in all the villages in our county, but hopefully others in the community now know it is safe to join us next time. 

As a reward, we drove another 12 miles to a drive-in for a late lunch. 

And for late supper we drove the other direction for ice cream. The owner was training two new fifteen year old employees and it was interesting and cute. I will say the owner has more patience than I ever imagined.

They did a pretty good job. I am positive this is the first banana split that my employee ever made. I know my cardiologist is thrilled with my diet day.

I ordered new sunglasses for Mr Merry online.  Always chancy, these glasses are perfect with progressive lenses. 

This pair is not his prescription and are not bifocals.  I am attempting an online return. Wish me luck. 

I am having my second, right eye cataract surgery on Tuesday.  I am really looking forward to having matching vision.  My family and especially Mr Merry are not adjusting to Miss Merry without glasses.  I ordered a pair with clear lens and Mr Merry thinks those look funny, too. That is the pair in the top photo.  I have decided maybe I just look funny?

All of our school-aged grandchildren are having spring break during different weeks.  If I get a minute I will share some adventures but I am not sure that is going to happen!  Busy, busy.  I also have a church charity story I want to share.  

Memory Monday

Memory Monday

Easter 1966 with 

my brothers and mother. 

Easter 1984 with my four oldest children and a collection of 

cabbage patch dolls and care bears. 

Baby Brother was born nine months later.