What do I do with my time?

TJ Max  I did not purchase anything

You may have noticed I keep vanishing. I thought I owed you all an explanation. Mostly I have been lunching, lol. And walking.  I had good intentions this fall and was putting together Christmas gift bags for different groups of friends that I lunch with. I was collecting items and had the bag, I was using lace doilies to line them.  Then I got sick and tired and was too tired to continue. And I just kept cancelling out on invitations and  people and not making doctor appointments. And the bags and items just sat on my dining room table.  

Dishtowels labeled "Age 3 and Up"

Now that I am drugged on cardiac medication, I have rejoined the real world.  

Can you believe I did not purchase these either?

Thursday I went to lunch with my high school friends at the same place that held my latest tea party. They were surprised we were still celebrating Christmas. 

I did not purchase this teapot. 

I should mention I traded my Thursday at Church for Wednesday so I could join them and my last client arrived one minute before we closed so I got to work an extra hour. 

I dd not purchase this coffee pot. 

Friday I was up bright and early so I could go on a Trader Joe trip with my stained glass classmates (our last class was in February of 2020).  They were also surprised to find we were celebrating Christmas. 

Trader Joe's.  I did buy tulips. 

I was home by 11 am so I could go out of town and out to lunch with my daughter. We stopped by Red Lobster. Gosh, those biscuits which are not on my low sodium diet just melt in your mouth. 

Saturday I joined my retired work friends from the library at a pizza restaurant where I ordered chicken gumbo soup.  I know that makes no sense. 

I did not purchase these dishes. 

Monday I am piling in a car with neighbor friends and we are headed to a brunch restaurant. My church board meeting is in the afternoon and my crime podcast club meets in the evening.   

I did not purchase these fabulous faux baked goods.

This is what I dreamed of when I retired. Unfortunately the highlights of the rest of the month are doctor appointments ending with my final cataract surgery on the 31st.  

I did not purchase this adorable set of plates. 

The other thing I do with my time is walk. Almost every day my prison warden track couch asks me if I want to go walk.  I say no.  We go to the indoor track anyway. I am mostly up to 2 miles but not consecutively. We do miss somedays because I am so busy lunching. We walk very very slowly and have to plan around school buses schedules and childcare. And we get tired in the evenings. But we are trying to be consistent and it does take a lot of time.  

I hope you enjoyed the results of my non-shopping trip.  I am being firm with myself about bringing more into this house, especially since Easter dinner has been moved to my youngest daughter's home and we use paper plates. Not that I have parted with my existing Easter dishware, but I am not bringing home more. 

Walking Tall

I am not tall. I am very short. I just couldn't think of a title for this post. 

First I want to clarify that, although my daughter took 2 or 3 items from one of many many cupboards, she left about 100 behind. None of my children are truly interested in my stuff. And despite my intentions, I have closed the door and am trying to ignore all the stuff.

And I guess I am starting with some days in the life. 

Yesterday I met friends for lunch (fried food with salt) and ended up spending four and a half hours in the restaurant. Then I went to my crime podcast club and never made dinner until 8:30 pm. My grandkids arrived for breakfast and the bus with their mom who is on spring break. She hung around for coffee until a hair appointment. I decided it was too late to go walk since we were going out to lunch after her appointment.  I stepped out on the back porch to get something out of the freezer for dinner and - my area of the country was hit with a giant 7 ton meteorite.  Didn't see that one coming! 

My wooden porch floor shook and it sounded like a train crash or some kind of loud metal thunder.  Everyone in the northern part of our state thought it happened in their back yard.  The 30 mile radius of pieces from the exploded meteor are about about 35 miles away from my town.  Everyone started texting each other and that kept me busy until we went to lunch. 

We sat by the window and watched it snow which reminded me that I did not walk the streets and look at Christmas windows last year. Maybe I can do it in 2026.  Then we went to the grocery store and returned home to wait for the bus.  My son in-law didn't pick up the kids until a quarter to five and I decided I was too tired to go walk and would just make supper. 

Then a friend messaged me on facebook. I will go backwards here. We became friends right after high school at our first real job. A small factory in town hired a whole group of recent young women graduates to assemble little thermostats for appliances.  We all became fast friends, hosting bridal showers, attending weddings, hosting baby showers and tupperware parties.  I am still friends with several of the girls to this day. This is my friend Marilyn.  

Marilyn had the first baby and I had the second. We would meet for play dates and picnics with her son and daughter (we didn't have money to lunch at restaurants in those days).  Many of us had husbands that worked later at night and we would meet for potlucks.  

Marilyn's mother had died when she was young and her elderly father spoiled her terribly. She and her husband lived rent free in one of his houses and she would complain it was not as fancy as she wanted. She liked to spend money and have to borrow from her dad to pay credit cards, over due utility bills or whatever.  He was her safety net and never said no.  

I had more children and changed jobs. She had baby sitters and went out.  She eventually had an affair, they got divorced and she talked her dad into buying her another house.  Dad passed away and she inherited several properties. She ended up selling them off one by one and living on the proceeds instead of working. 

But we stayed friends even though we had very different lives, me at home, and later at work, with five children and a husband, and Marilyn fancy free in the 1980's, going line dancing at country bars, every other weekend girls trips, etc. 

Then the money ran out, she was in financial trouble in a tiny apartment. She gained lots of weight (I know, I should talk), couldn't afford her car, developed health issues and made them worse. 

For example - this was at least 20 years ago when she was in her late 40's - her daughter moved a few houses down from her.  She would not walk to her daughter's house, she would drive. Eventually she would not walk to the mailbox, she would drive. She quit shopping in stores, she would get deliveries.  We did not see each other often. 

But I stay friends.  About five years ago I blogged about helping a friend that was a hoarder. This was Marilyn. She liked to shop and hated to clean.  I cannot discuss the state of the apartment but there was a problem with the hot water tank and the landlord stepped inside.  He started eviction and I helped her find affordable senior housing and spent several days filling hundreds of trash bags to go to the dump. And cajoling my husband to put them in his truck and take them to the dump.  

She would refuse medical advice and change doctors. I know of at least one doctor who dropped her as a patient because she refused to take his advice about her diabetes.  

Anyway. She texted me this afternoon and shared a photograph of an Xray.  She had fallen in the apartment and severely fractured her shoulder on Valentines Day.  She has been in a nursing home in a neighboring village.  She wouldn't really answer questions about prognosis or healing or rehab.  I think she has landed in a place where everything is done for her and I bet she will never leave. She did share that her doctor would not preform surgery on the shoulder due to her high sugar numbers.  She is one month older than I am. 

We are 69, turning 70 later this year. I now feel that 70 is so much younger than I previously thought one or two or five decades ago.  You don't surrender at 70. 

And here is Miss Merry who spent days in the cardio unit in January who hasn't walked in two days and is planning on vegging out in the recliner tonight.  

I put on my big girl coat - because it is winter at the north pole this week - and drove across town with Mr Merry to the rec center and walked for two miles on the track. Because I am not going to surrender.  

Memory Monday

I was totally lost for a post until my daughter called me last night. She had seen some displays at Hobby Lobby and decided she needed some new decor in her living room. She had looked at a cardboard fake old book (for $15) and remembered her mom has lots of very very old books. 

I had already given my daughter in-law some of my old books a while back. I am sure you decorators know the cool kids have piles of old books on tables.  The books I had left were inscribed inside with my parents and grandparents names. I hesitated one minute and remembered that my plan is to empty the house now so my kids don't have to deal with all this stuff. And I guess I am starting one book at a time. 

She took all the books I had pulled and asked what else I might have.  I gave her one of my collection of over 100 Longaberger baskets (99 to go) and we opened one cabinet door. 

I found an hour glass that I remember on my grandfather's desk that is at least a hundred years old. There were lots of things I can't let go of yet but her husband spotted an object and did some quick research. It was a timer and lockset for a bank vault from the late 1800's, early 1900's.  I am guessing my grandfather, the jeweler/watchmaker, changed the locks for the bank and kept it as we are a family of "keepers". I did not take a photo of the bank lock. 

I really need to start sorting and giving up.  I am the only family member living in the same town and the same state and every object from everyone's house in the past is in my house somewhere.  I have an unhealthy attachment to inanimate objects and have attached way too many memories to everything.  One step at a time. 

A Day in the Life.

Since the posts are few and far between I thought I would do a "day in the life" to show you how I can fritter away a day with a bunch of nothingness.   

Mr Merry gets up at some ungodly hour like 4 am.  I have to be up by 6:45 when the munchkins come for breakfast before the bus.  I take orders (because I am a diner) and we have to be fed and pottied by 7:50 in order to get to the bus stop. * today we got an email, bus time is changing to 7:38 a.m.

At 8 am Mr Merry comes in (I am still in pjs because I am not a morning person) and I make him breakfast with farm fresh eggs while I eat a yogurt.  Then I get dressed and we drive 15 minutes to the indoor track.  We tried to walk on sidewalks but I tripped on a crack and then one house has their sidewalk covered in dog poo. At the end of our street, Main St, they have jackhammered out the sidewalks for the summer as we are starting a big road replacement project where they are removing the old trolley tracks from the 1900's and going all the way down with a new base and widening the street so moving every water, sewer and gas line as well as telephone poles. The project ended at our street last year so we couldn't go west and this year we are continuing so we cannot go east. 

Once at the Rec, we change our shoes and walk. This photo is from the upper track as they were setting up for volleyball tournaments We are up to two miles.  Some days I do a mile, rest, then do .5 mile, rest and do .5 mile. Some days I do only .5 miles.  And I want to say Wednesday I did  .8, .2 , .5., .5.  Mr Merry is issues with his hip and his bursitis in his knee so he sits out random lamps.  Each lap is .1 miles.  I walk exceedingly slow and it takes us between 1.5 and 2 hours.  We usually have a errand and get home for lunch. 

Three days last week we had doctor appointments in the morning, check up on the left cataract surgery (scheduled the right for the 31st), a check up on Mr Merry with a specialist, and then an appointment to get our taxes done. So that was 3 out of 5 days. And two days we had a two hour fog delay - visibility was so bad I could not see the street from my house. 

View from my daughter's classroom after she got to school. 

When we have appointments we either have a very late lunch or go in the early afternoon since we have to be home to catch the bus. 

The bus comes at 3:40 pm and we do an afterschool snack and hear about their day.  I start supper and the kids get picked up between 4:30 and 5:30.  And then I am tired so after supper I accomplish nothing.  

After school he is building a motel for his stuffed cow. 

I did make three Shutterfly books this week for the sale price which somehow was over $100 even with the sale and coupons. They have changed the process again and I am not happy.  My friend uses a different service and I think I will ask her again which one it is.  The fact that I am seeing distance only with one eye was probably a factor, but I am still not happy with changes. 

I also did laundry which seems like a big deal for no reason and we have been fighting spring ants in the kitchen which means I am scouring the kitchen and cursing a lot.  On Friday we also took a trip to the egg farm. 

I reorganized what I call the spare room and other family calls the junk room and still haven't found my missing hats. 

Last Sunday we went to the school production of Mary Poppins which was very good but lasted over 3 hours which I found excessive.  My granddaughter and her friend are too old to pose for photos. My newest co-gramma showed me the hidden elevator to the balcony. 

We then went to Bob Evans where he is dipping his french fries into the caramel syrup for his apple slices. I should mention we had an outstanding server and as someone who waitressed in high school, I know.  I tipped her in cash about 50% of our bill.  

And I have been working on my to-go bag for the next time I ride in an ambulance. I am also calling it my insurance policy because if I am prepared, I will not ever need to call an ambulance. 

So far I have two sets of pjs with button fronts and a pocket for the heart monitor, a robe (I bought one for home use, too, I love it so much), dry shampoo, chapstick, hair brush, phone charger, manicure kit, some bath sponges so I can bath in bed without rinsing since I can't shower with IVs and my bag.  As soon as I looked at the photo I added a few pairs of nonslip socks.  Please add any further suggestions.  And I just thought of another item, underwear in case I have to wear a gown for a test. 

And that is how I have been marking time. 

I am frustrated with my primary who had his secretary read lung function test results word for word over the phone to me without any recommendations.  I am beyond happy with my cataract surgery and can't wait for matching eyes so I don't have to close one eye to watch tv and the other to read, and I see my cardiologist in a few weeks. His office is still working with my insurance to get me into cardio rehab.  Rehab stated I am still on the list (I guess the list of people waiting on insurance companies).  I think I am good with the walking but I would like the three sessions with the dietician. 

And, because daylight savings time is making me cranky, I will talk taxes.  Our accountant was telling us how many clients are mad because they thought they could get a deduction on interest on a new car purchase but most vehicles do not qualify (for example Equinox's which are an affordable choice in our area) because even though the parts are made locally, they are not assembled here.  They are also upset because the no-tax on overtime is actually no tax on the halftime in addition to your regular rate which is still taxed and if you work for the railroad, and they are the biggest employer around here, there was a special provision leaving railroad workers out of the overtime exemption.  I have not heard anyone saying they have saved money on the no taxes on tips.  I guess they are still taxed on tips that are paid by cards, but don't have to pay tax on cash tips which I thought most servers didn't report anyway?  

Whichever, whatever, it is not slowing the applications at my charity office. 

Memory Monday

 1979

Two hippies and a baby. 

International Womens Day

 

I am having a problem with time, either visiting blogs or writing one.  I will be back tomorrow with Memory Monday and am working on a day in the life of a woman who accomplishes nothing but is always too busy.  

Memory Monday

Still working on getting my act together and can barely drum up a Memory Monday!   

My daughter visited Hobby Lobby on Friday and found some decor items (for example a cardboard model of an old book, $15).  

She remembered her mother has a house full of many many old things and came here instead.  I had already had the same request a few months and sorted a pile of very very old books for my daughter in-law who put them in a decorative pile. 

All I had left were very very old books inscribed with the names of my mother and grandparents. I had a talk with myself about how I need to work on emptying this very full house and had her come over and select what she wanted.   

We then migrated to a cabinet where she selected a basket and an hourglass that is over a hundred years old that belonged to my grandfather. 

She and her husband spotted another item of interest and he began an internet search. It was a double locking system for a bank safe in the early 1900's.  My grandfather was a watchmaker and jeweler and I am guessing that he replaced the lock at the bank vault and kept the old one. Because we are a family of "keepers".  I forgot to take a photo of it before it left. 

I am the keeper of all things. I have an unhealthy  attachment to inanimate objects. I can remember where every object I have from my parents and my grandparents homes was placed in their homes and I can remember almost every story about every object. 

I have been having talks with myself about how unfair it is to burden my children and grandchildren with these objects that they have no attachment.  I am hoping I can talk myself into emptying a few cupboards and having a family flea market where hopefully I can talk some into taking some objects and donating some to the cancer shop. 

Memory Monday

Thank for the well wishes. Cataract surgery went fine. I was shocked at how painless it was.  Now three weeks of eye drops. 

It seems like we are crazy busy around here (mostly doctor appointments) and we have three more this week. But I still had the envelope of 1970's photos on my desk so we are stuck with those. 

I am starting with this one of me reading the newspaper since my last post had me on this floor reading the newspaper. I read the newspaper a lot in the 1970's. The table in front of the couch was my play table when I was little and is in my house right now and the wooden piano stool in front of the window is beside my chair and holding my coffee. 

I remember this gray coat and gray and white shift dress that I wore once for Easter.  I am not sure who bought it because I look horrible and gray when I wear gray.  But don't my legs look long? This is an optical illusion. 

This is me spreading a table cloth at a picnic. I hate picnics and had a phobia of bugs on food as a teenager.  There seem to be a lot of photos of me at picnics. I'm not sure if we were picnickers or they wanted to torture me. The man is my uncle from Illinois, my cousin Claire is in the white tee shirt, by the process of elimination I think the orange shirt is my cousin Simon and my Aunt Mary Ellen is on the opposite side of the table. 

My uncle, my aunt, my father and me with those long legs which are an optical illusion.  These also show my uniform headscarf that I wore from 1969-1971.  

Trading the kerchief for a floppy hat, I appear to be making s'mores with my cousin Claire. As a hoarder I swear I'm telling the truth when I say I still have this hat. It has red, white and blue designs with a white reversible side and my daughters and granddaughters have worn it, too. 

1971. Me scrubbing the roof of my dad's sailboat.  I believe this could be the last time I was on a boat. I am not a water person either.  

I do not remember ever scrubbing the boat but I do remember the bikini which was a dark orange with a yellow paisley print.  I do not still own the bikini.