Frustrating

This is another one of those medical posts I might leave up or I might delete.  I don't need anyone to comment.  I think I am just letting out my frustrations and getting over it. 

I am still mad that I got sick. Is that rational? No it is not. But facts don't make it less frustrating.  I am tired of doctors and drugs and appointments and insurance compainies and pharmacies. 

After a brief break, I started again. The hospital called out of the blue and wanted to schedule a CT Scan. I scheduled it and never asked who ordered it.  It was pulmonary.  I read the results and printed them. 

I had a follow up with my primary. He didn't want to give an opinion and said to wait for pulmonary to follow up. They haven't.  

Today I had an appointment with cardiology. He did not mention anything, but when I read the clinical notes on line, he found decreased lung sounds. Should someone be worried about this? Or the "numerous" nodules grouped in my lungs? Or am I being a big nervous baby? 

The cardiologist has ordered a test I have never heard of that will see how I am doing on the medication. It did not sound like a big deal. I looked it up. I will have IVs and the test itself will take 90 minutes. So a bigger deal than a CT Scan.  But it sounds like I will get some good answers (whether I want them or not).  And he did schedule an appointment to talk about these results. 

And here is what I am really mad about.  I have been doing everything right. I started walking at the gym and am up to 2 miles a day.  I completely changed my eating habits, cut out sodium and caffiene. I have lost over 24 pounds since the heart incident in January all on my own.  And none of these doctors noticed. Why do they even weigh you? What is the point?  

Today the cardiologist asked if I had noticed a weight gain. I know it is because we are worried about retaining fluid.  But good grief. I said NO, actually I have lost almost 25 pounds.  He said, gosh, how did you do that?  

I'm petty. I am mad.  Shouldn't they compare numbers from your last visit? Jeesh. I feel like their first words should be, oh, you have lost weight.   

And because I am me, I don't mention this.  The cardiologist actually described me in the clinical notes as a "pleasant woman of 69".   And then he doubled my medication. 

I would also like to add that my family has not mentioned anything about my weight loss - like "mom, have you lost weight?"  or "mom, you look really good" or any acknowledgement.  Do they not notice?