This is another one of those medical posts I might leave up or I might delete. I don't need anyone to comment. I think I am just letting out my frustrations and getting over it.
I am still mad that I got sick. Is that rational? No it is not. But facts don't make it less frustrating. I am tired of doctors and drugs and appointments and insurance compainies and pharmacies.
I had a follow up with my primary. He didn't want to give an opinion and said to wait for pulmonary to follow up. They haven't.
Today I had an appointment with cardiology. He did not mention anything, but when I read the clinical notes on line, he found decreased lung sounds. Should someone be worried about this? Or the "numerous" nodules grouped in my lungs? Or am I being a big nervous baby?
The cardiologist has ordered a test I have never heard of that will see how I am doing on the medication. It did not sound like a big deal. I looked it up. I will have IVs and the test itself will take 90 minutes. So a bigger deal than a CT Scan. But it sounds like I will get some good answers (whether I want them or not). And he did schedule an appointment to talk about these results.
And here is what I am really mad about. I have been doing everything right. I started walking at the gym and am up to 2 miles a day. I completely changed my eating habits, cut out sodium and caffiene. I have lost over 24 pounds since the heart incident in January all on my own. And none of these doctors noticed. Why do they even weigh you? What is the point?
Today the cardiologist asked if I had noticed a weight gain. I know it is because we are worried about retaining fluid. But good grief. I said NO, actually I have lost almost 25 pounds. He said, gosh, how did you do that?
I'm petty. I am mad. Shouldn't they compare numbers from your last visit? Jeesh. I feel like their first words should be, oh, you have lost weight.
And because I am me, I don't mention this. The cardiologist actually described me in the clinical notes as a "pleasant woman of 69". And then he doubled my medication.
I would also like to add that my family has not mentioned anything about my weight loss - like "mom, have you lost weight?" or "mom, you look really good" or any acknowledgement. Do they not notice?
Grrrr - I wish I had answers for you. I'd be irritated too.
ReplyDeleteKudos on the weight loss. It's hard work. I've also lost weight and I also had to tell my Dr. (60# at the time!) They are quick to tell you that you need to lose weight and it would be nice to hear a good job...
Hang in there, you are not alone!
ReplyDeleteMiss Merry I didn't know if you were accepting comments here or not, but I did read this and can certainly understand your frustration. And you deserve big kudos for the daily walking and giving up caffeine & sodium (what the--!) let alone the 25 lb weight loss. YES that deserves its own recognition, I'd give anything to lose that and your doctor's office should've said something! I do know mine would've!
ReplyDeleteI changed clinics two years ago because of this behavior. You have every right to know the what and why of any procedure. The medical profession seems to be lacking something. Congrats on the weight loss. WooHoo!
ReplyDeleteHi dear Miss Merry, I totally understand your frustration! My goodness! Bless your heart! You are not alone. I am so proud of you on your weight loss! Congratulations to you!
ReplyDeleteMiss Merry, I can feel the frustration in every word.
ReplyDeleteYou’ve been doing all the right things--walking, eating better, losing nearly 25 pounds. That’s huge. Even if doctors and family don’t say it, I’ll say it--well done, you deserve credit for all that effort. 👏
You lost 25 pounds? Oh my gosh! That’s a lot! I’ve been sick for a couple of weeks now and have to gain some weight back. At my age, it’s better to carry a little extra weight than not enough. sigh…
ReplyDeleteHow sweet that he noted you were pleasant. :-)
Doctors look at numbers on their charts and rarely [it seems] look at their patient.
ReplyDeleteSit down and write these things down on a list.
What is meant by decreased lung sounds?
What does this mean in my on line follow up?
Specifically point out your weight loss and in turn tell them about your activity levels.
This 'test' is specifically looking for what? Please explain in layman's terms.
One more tip. Bring someone along who can help you ask questions and listen to the answers also.
When hubby had several specialists treating him and speaking doctor speak, I had them stop and explain.
You are the patient, you run the show, not the doctors.
Oh my. It's time to let the old "me" go and mention these things to your docs and your family. Your mental health is as important as your physical health and these professionals who do not mention, acknowledge, praise, encourage, are not contributing to your positive mental health and neither is keeping it inside. Ditto for the family. Illness helps us take stock of so many things and part of it is how we let things roll off of us that shouldn't. Because they don't roll off. They burrow deep. You have every right to be frustrated and yes, angry. Angry at your body, angry that you are doing everything right and things aren't going as you planned, angry at the way the things you are doing and doing well aren't being acknowledged by the docs or family (and bravo on 24 pounds. A lot of us would kill for that -- I would!).
ReplyDeleteBeing angry and telling them doesn't mean you have to yell, scream or throw a hissy fit (but wouldn't it be kind of cathartic?!). But it does mean that a reasonable conversation with the docs and those near and dear can and maybe should happen. Tears with that are A-OK.
I've been where you are in many ways. I didn't have the same issues; mine are more chronic. But I know that anger, that feeling your body has failed you and that somewhere along the way you have failed your body. Well, you haven't failed it anymore. You have done everything right. You are not just a number in the doctor's office, the next in a string of patients. You are a human being who is doing the right things and you need a partner in this who is both medical professional and coach. You need answers to questions about your reports and the respect of the docs who recognize you are "on their team" as much as they are on yours. You have to be your own advocate because no one else is.
Sorry -- I rant. But it hurts me to see you in emotional pain and well-deserved frustration. (As for the tests, I type the doctor speak on CR results and such into claude.com or some other search engine and they define it in English. It gives you very specific info that you can then ask the doc about it. Warning -- sometimes it is scary. But it gives you something to work with. Go at your own risk but if they don't tell you what something means, there are ways to find out. What it doesn't tell you is how it applies to you and your specific situation. That's the doc's job.)
Sending huge cyber hugs to you. I hope you get the answers you seek and fight for them.
Here is the jest of it all and take it from someone that has been dealing with docs, hospitals, appts, test and all the crap since Jan 2023. Our health care has gone to hell in a handbasket. I am not sure you were following me when I had three surgeries in ten days, had a doc start to cut into me before putting me to sleep, and just general crap that went along with all this mess. I hope all the test and results come out okay. Don't stress. Yes, course the doc should have seen the change in weight since the last visit and having your chart in hand. I had a general doc that I loved. Been with her since 2011, she was GREAT. If I lost five pounds she saw and she mentioned it. But in Feb 2025 I turned 65, she don't take Medicare so its been a struggle to locate one to replace her, not having a lot of luck
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this Post, so leave it up my Friend, many of us have similar challenges and are wrestling with how to Feel about it all. Dealing with anything Medical, and Insurance Wise, is just difficult, whether for ourselves or someone else... its just a LOT... and made to be so complicated. I Hope all your Tests give you some information that will be Helpful. Don't grow weary in doing all the Right stuff and Bravo for losing so much Weight on your own. Sometimes people notice and say something, sometimes they may notice and just not say something. I often Feel like everyone is inhabiting their own "Bubble" and are consumed by Life Issues and just Life in general. Connections can be superficial even with those closest to us when there's a lot going on, and involvement would be intimidating and require a lot.
ReplyDeleteOh how frustrating for you. I understand perfectly. My weight has gone up and up. Finally at my last primary care visit I expressed my frustration with the doctor. I've tried so many diets and as much exercise as my back will allow. He said, "well, three of your medications cause noticeable weight gain. Didn't anyone tell you that?" Well, no. I've been blaming myself constantly. My kids have said Mom you need to lose weight. Duh! Only Dennis knows how much I've tried to lose weight.
ReplyDeleteInsurance is another headache. The last medicine they wanted to "try" would cost me $2000 a month. I said no thanks. I think a lot of us can relate and sympathize my dear friend. Don't ever worry about venting here. We're all in this together.
Blessings and love,
Betsy
Oh Miss Merry. How I do understand this! I have no clue how to fix it, mind you, but I do understand it. HUGS.
ReplyDelete