First - my steak salad. Here is the recipe I use:
https://wellsfarmsbeef.com/blogs/recipe-challenge-recipes/cherry-and-goat-cheese-steak-salad
Please note I figured out how to add a link! Mine has a few changes, I cook the steak whole and cut my portion in cubes, not strips, I used dried cranberries instead of dried cherries, I was out of pecans and used mozzarella cheese instead of goat cheese.
Mr Merry has his salad in a bowl and his steak on a plate.
I thought I wasn't doing any more pickles. I guess that wasn't true.
Today was a day at the church charity office. All my clients were young, single mothers. It was an interesting and frustrating mix of people. First I had an unemployed with no income young lady with an infant who has a story about the boyfriend. She left him for reasons and someone (I wasn't clear who or what) put her up for seven days in a motel where I guess she watched tv in the air conditioning. Her time was up. My question is - what is the plan? We can't support her, no one has funds to support her. My organization does not do motel rooms. We assist with rent and utilities. I put her in touch with several resources to contact but she is homeless today. I am sure this information was given to her a week ago. She told me her mother would not let her stay with her and that all of her relatives told her they don't have room for her and the baby. And that sounds off. And I know I sound mean, but here is the story I give young people.
It sounds like you have burned some bridges. You need to go to your family and apologize even if it isn't your fault. You need to beg to be allowed to stay and have a plan. Like finding a job and saving to move out by a certain date. I sound meaner now, right?
But there is no place for her to go. The shelters are full. The home for abused women is full. There is no funding for anything. The list for my county for metro housing is 200 households. There are no open rentals.
Unless she can find someone to put her up in a hotel again, I told her the police station has a meeting room with cots and showers for nights and she can hang out in the air conditioned library during the day.
The next girl/woman has been to us twice within the last year, the last time 2 months ago. We have spent double what we would normally spend on a household in a year. She is spending twice her income on rent/utilities/high car payment, etc. Again, we need to make some changes. A big help would be a roommate. And a better job. Or a second job. And, now call me snarky, she had just dyed her hair blue and had her nails done. Which I know is less than a rental payment, but still.
And the next was a girl/woman who is short $400 a month. She is working a decent job, but again high rent and a high car loan due to bad credit. She almost made it this month but lent her car to the baby dad and he did something so she had to get it out of impound. And that blew the budget. She is on the waiting list for metro and if they would even cover 1/2 her rent for the month, she and her two children would be free and clear.
I don't want to pick on young women. Last week we had 2 grown ups. Women in their 50/60's who were living beyond their means, could downsize apartments and quit paying for phones, etc for adult children, but instead are taking payday loans and coming to us with shut off notices.
AND last week I had a young mom who had been living in a bad situation with her parents. She had taken the schooling to be a nursing assistant, saved and used her income tax refund for the deposit on an apartment and utilities, paid off her car loan and found a job that will cover expenses for her and her daughter. She just needed help with this month's rent as she waits on her first pay check. I wanted to give her a medal.
ENOUGH of this judgemental whining.
I took the glue sticks and scissors with me to the office but forgot the passports and also forgot the lettering for the signs.
Tomorrow I am going on a field trip with friends to the Mennonite grocery, the egg farm, the Mennonite butcher and an Amish produce stand. Then I will begin baking for my church festival. I will confess up front I bought pie crust at Aldi. My arthritis is not going to let me make my famous 15 crust recipe. I think my goal is six pies. We will see what we get. And also cupcakes for the cake walk. I actually take them in disposable foil cupcake pans.
My church drama is a long story, but I refuse to play with the mean girls. The festival people asked me if I would be willing to work on Sunday in the money room for the day which has limited entrance and the mean girls can't come in. So I said yes and will be there 8-10 hours with the nice girls.
And to end a post that is all over the place, I was randomly googling on Amazon for "mother of the groom" dress since my son is getting married in October. And found this fully lined, sequined three quarter sleeved dress - 1 left - in my size - in this color - and mid calf length so it's floor length with no hemming for me - regular $139, for $18!!!!!
I fully understand your frustrations with some folks who won't [can't seem] to help themselves. My son was that way in some respects too. He often depended on good friends until he ran out of welcome spaces.
ReplyDeleteThe scenarios sound familiar like my ex-Respite gal. She liked my 8 hrs a week with good $. But was sleeping here and there with no plan in sight. She never planned ahead and often slept in instead of heading into our job which paid her very well. Anyway, I've seen those examples which stand out.
They give those in real need of help a poor stigma of lazy good for nothings.
My biggest concern for other humans is the tragedies yet to come with winter.
I had to laugh at Mr. Merry's version of a steak salad--he's old school. I feel terrible for those young single mothers, I went thru some rough patches in my twenties (no car, no home) but to do it with a child... can't imagine. And that is an incredible bargain on your mother of the groom dress--wow!
ReplyDeleteThe stories you hear, both good and bad and so many sad.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the recipe.
I love the dress - and what a bargain!
First off, that's a great dress. And I hear you on the "mean girls" room. I don't think you sounded mean in your advice -- it was firm but wise. Bad things happen and it's really a sad state of things that the shelters are full. But when people are making big car payments, have fancy phones and all that and yet won't meet their daily essentials, it's pretty annoying. (As a landlord Rick has had that issue with some past tenants. He has little sympathy and is usually very willing to go the extra mile but there's a cut-off point.) Nope. Someone needs to give tough love sometimes and it sounds like you are good at it so I say bravo!
ReplyDeleteIn my Corporate Banking Life I ran Collections, Foreclosures and Bankruptcy departments so, yeah, you had to Debt Counsel folks and many just made a habit of chronic bad decisions that often led to their situations. Some you could help, many you couldn't and they would be losing their Homes due to it. And the Chronics can have more lines than the Telephone Company. Even those worthy of Help need Change or they're perpetually needing bailouts which isn't sustainable for any Agency to Support them. You're not being either judgmental or mean, you have to assess every Client by Need and also by their Situation/Choices. Hard decisions then need to be made. I also did Decades of Ministry Work for Faith Based Charities, very similar assessments that I had to make in my Career so the Pastors appreciated my experience and expertise. A great part of which included cultivating Relationships with other Churches and other Businesses that donated what we'd need for our Clients. Ours was a Work Fare Program that distributed mostly Nutritional Assistance but would on occasion help with some essential temporary Living Expenses if we had it in the Budget to provide Financial Aid too. The demand was always higher than the supply. I fear Society is heading in a downward trajectory between the chasm of the Haves and the Haves Nots... where Elite Greed of Too Much never being enough for them, and lack of the most vulnerable is gonna widen greatly, to the point of a Marie Antoinette Moment. There are many hard working people still not making it and that's why I have Three Generations under our Roof... the Adult Kids and Adult Grandkids could never find Housing that would be affordable now Locally.
ReplyDeleteWow! That is an amazing price and the dress looks perfect. I think perhaps the ability to think clearly and reason things out is difficult when in stress. Combine it with youth and you have a mess. I do hope the young woman listened to you but probably not.
ReplyDeleteMy goodness young and old women get themselves in a pickle. You did not sound mean only matter of fact. Nice dress!
ReplyDeleteGreat dress! You are so patient to listen to those in need, and I know sometimes you might just want to hit someone over the head, or kick a backside, which their mothers obviously didn't do enough...or perhaps too much. Grown ups now! Good you can help out at the church sales, and stay away from the mean girls. Very smart.
ReplyDeleteThe dress 👗 is beautiful. So glad you figured out how to add a link, it took me a while as well. Sounds like you have been busy. Thank you so much for sharing 😊 ❤️
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